Then Came You
by gizmo8us
Summary: A morning after one shot that picks up directly after the events of 'Always'.


The dingy gray of early morning light began to seep through the slate blue curtains covering the two windows in Richard Castle's bedroom. It crept in slowly as if it knew it's presence wasn't welcome.

Kate Beckett's eyes fell to Rick's face and she resumed the activity that she'd been indulging in for the last half hour, staring at Castle while he slept. She remembered telling him once that the way he stared at her sometimes was creepy. She rarely caught him doing it anymore. Either he'd gotten better at hiding it or he'd become so customary to her now he no longer felt the need to stare.

She had some catching up to do.

She lifted one finger and skated it across his brow, using only the barest touch possible. Then down the center of his straight, Aquiline nose, across his deeply-bowed upper lip and full, pink bottom one. She mapped out the contours of his face, tracing her way over the early morning stubble that covered his cheek, the square of his jaw. She thought if she really looked hard enough she could almost make out a dimple in his chin. She'd never noticed that before and that was why she was glad to have a few uninterrupted moments to just look at him, to touch him, to memorize him.

Still it was odd. He was a beautiful man while sleeping, but there was something lacking. Maybe it was the bright, ever-alert sparkle in his eyes or the almost always present smile on his lips. Whatever it was, it was something Kate had grown to love.

She'd woken up not knowing where she was, but realizing almost immediately that she was safe because he was there. Somehow she just knew he was. After a moment to orient herself she found his arm laid protectively across her waist and his warm, comforting length stretched out behind her to reinforce that feeling.

She never felt afraid when he was around. That was something completely new to her. She might look tough on the outside, but deep down, she was always scared. At least until he came into her life.

It was something she'd felt almost instantly. She'd never have admitted it at the time, of course. But if she were honest with herself, she'd known the moment he laid eyes on him, dressed in a suit that cost more than her annual salary and, signing every book or breast that got thrust into his face and practically crowing like a rooster he was so pleased with himself. She'd known.

There was just something about him. There had always been something about him. It was more than just his charm. That charm worked on just about everyone, but she certainly hadn't been impressed by it at first. In fact, his high opinion of himself had irritated her more than endured him to her.

That was just until she saw that ego trip for what it was. It was him being afraid. He used that charm like a shield just as she used her anger. They had both learned to hide well.

He never let it show, but there were scars on Richard Castle. He put on a brave face, but he had been hurt before. It was there in the tiny bit of insecurity Kate had caught a glimpse of once or twice since he'd blown into her life. It was there in the barest hint of fear she'd witnessed when they fought. But mostly, she knew he'd experience pain in his life because she'd read his books.

Now that she knew him like she did, she understood how much of himself he gave to his characters. It amazed her how easy he made it seem to put himself out there like that. He laid himself bare and vulnerable to millions of readers every time he penned a novel.

And aside from a few critics here and there, those millions of readers ate it up. They loved him, embraced him, gave him their unwavering approval.

She had never felt that. At least until he came into her life. He'd shared that approval with her. Despite how much she outwardly protested, she had to admit that it was nice. People loved her character as much as they loved his.

Seeing herself through his eyes had been something of a shock. And looking back now, she couldn't help the twist of guilt she felt in the depths of her stomach. It was perfectly clear to her now that he'd been in love with her for years. He'd spent those years chipping away at her, digging himself in a little deeper at every opportunity, proving to her time and again that he would always be there for her.

Of course she loved him. He'd left her no choice.

He moved his head on the pillow, snuggling further down into its plush softness. Then he blinked, found her watching him and smiled.

"Morning," he said, in low sleepy voice.

"Morning," she answered, leaning up enough to brush her lips against his.

He wasn't satisfied with that and pulled her in further, deepening the kiss until her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn't catch her breath.

"That's better," he chuckled when he let her go far enough to pull some much needed oxygen into her lungs. "You know a tiny part of me wasn't expecting to find you here this morning."

She raised her chin and found his eyes. "You thought I'd leave?"

He smiled again. "I'm honestly not sure what to think. I'm not complaining," he said while tracing tiny circles over her shoulder with the tip of his finger. "but do you maybe want to talk about what brought all this on?"

She shifted her head on his shoulder and let her eyes find the center of his chest. "Like I said last night, he got away and I didn't care."

"Yeah, that part didn't concern me nearly as much as the part about you almost dying. Please tell me," he paused to lay a kiss to her hair. "that was an exaggeration."

She lifted her gaze to his and the minute their eyes connected he knew she hadn't been exaggerating. His arms tighten around her and he hauled her into his chest. "How close was it?" he asked into her hair.

"Too close," she answered around the lump that had formed in her throat from his reaction.

He let go and abruptly pulled away from her. At arm's length, he let his eyes slid over every inch of her as if he hadn't seen every part of her already that night. But she knew this time he wasn't taken her in like a lover. He was examining her like a concerned partner.

When his gaze came to her hands, she fisted them quickly and as tightly as she could, but she wasn't fast enough. He reached out and took them both in his. Squinting in the dim lighting, he eyed them closely, taking in the scratches and scraps she'd procured while dangling from the rooftop, before bringing his eyes back to her face.

"What happened?" he asked, his face and tone both more solemn they she was comfortable with.

"Do we really have to talk about this?" she asked, taking her hands back. "Can't you just be happy that I've come to my senses and I'm here now?" When he didn't look convinced, she tried changing the subject. "Tell me about Alexis' graduation. I bet she was great."

"She was wonderful. It was the proudest day of my life," he said quickly. "Now tell me why you have bruises on your ribs and your hands are all busted up."

"It doesn't matter. It's over now. All of it. I'm done," she said resolutely.

Castle sat up beside her so quickly she nearly fell off the side of the bed. "What does that mean? You're done?"

She pushed herself up with sore arms, dragging the sheet with her as she moved. "It means I'm not going to chase them anymore. I'm putting it all behind me. I thought you'd be happy. It's what you wanted, right?"

He nodded slowly. "Because it's the only way to keep you safe," he reminded her.

She forced her brilliant smile on him. "Yesterday was my last close call, my final near miss. I'm moving on. I'm not going to let the men that killed my mother rule my life anymore." He leaned away from her again, his eyes suspicious and weary. "Why do you look so worried? This is good news."

"I'm worried because this doesn't sound like you, Kate. You don't give up. You never back down."

She looked away before blinking quickly and looking back. "Maybe I've finally seen how silly that is. Maybe I've learned that sometimes the best thing you can do is step away."

"And you're ready to do this? Leave it all behind like that?" he asked, still suspicious.

She blinked again and drew her knee up and into her chest. She could feel the sting of tears burning her eyes and the lump in her throat felt as if it were the size of her tongue. "I have to. I realized yesterday that the people I'm chasing will go a lot further than I'm willing to go. The price of fighting shot up the minute I figured out how much I'd miss out on if they killed me." She shifted, wrapping her arm tightly around her knee and resting her head on top of it. "Always before I fought on like I did because I felt like I had nothing to lose. Those bastards took the most important thing in my life from me. Yesterday, swinging helplessly from a rooftop with no backup and no one coming to save me, all I could think about was not ever seeing you again. I didn't care that the man that shoot me was getting away. I wasn't mad because I lost. I was terrified of losing you." There was no stopping the tears now, they were there whether she liked it or not, flowing freely down both cheeks in twin rivers.

Castle looked as if she'd slapped him and for one silly little moment she thought he looked angry. She thought he was going to yell at her for going after Maddox alone with no backup. She thought maybe he was mad that she'd pushed the issue so far that Maddox almost killed her, again.

Then all at once he seemed to crumble. He grabbed her into his chest as her name fell from his lips. His grasp was so tight it was hard to pull in enough air, but right at that moment, breathing didn't matter as much as feeling him holding her. She tried holding him just as tightly but her sore arms screamed in protest of the move and she had to settle for clutching at his shoulders like he was the ledge she'd so recently dangled from.

They stayed that way, locked together, neither one talking, neither one pulling away until the dim lighting in the room began to brighten with the rising of the sun. Castle was rocking her now in a slow, steady, constant rhythm. And she realized with a choked sniffle and no small amount of embarrassment, that she'd been crying. Not just crying, weeping.

Suddenly, the need to run was almost more than she could fight against. She needed to be alone to work through all this on her own. She couldn't let him see this.

She tried to pull away and tensed when he wouldn't let her.

"Shh," he whispered, soothingly as he smoothed her hair and cradled her head to his chest. "It's going to be alright, Kate. Everything is going to be alright."

Her first instinct was to fight against him, to demand that he let her go, to get angry about something, anything. It didn't matter as long as it was big enough to hide behind. Then it occurred to her that it was a fight she didn't even want to win. His arms felt so good around her, his chest so warm and comforting against her cheek. So she stayed and let him rock her and whisper pretty things in her ear while she pulled the bandages off of old wounds and examined the scars left behind.

They weren't as horrible as she imagined them being and she knew that was due mostly to Rick. He'd helped her heal, helped her see how wonderful life could be if she gave herself over to the good and stepped out of the dark. It was time and she was ready to go forward. She'd devoted thirteen years of her life to her mother's case, putting everything else on the back burner. Afraid of anything making her lose focus. That's what she'd always told herself.

She'd never been able to face the fact that she was afraid that she was broken. She was terrified that her mother's murder had rip her apart too badly to repair. She was afraid her soul had been so damaged she would never be capable of loving someone the way she so desperately wanted to. But she came to the conclusion, as she sat there in his arms, that if someone as spectacular as Rick Castle could love her, she'd couldn't be as broken as she feared.

All the romantic notions and fairy tales she'd held dear as a child came crashing back at her. She'd left all that behind a long time ago when reality had become so harsh not even her treasured ideals of love and happily ever after could hold up against it.

That was until he came into her life. Now he was right there in front of her, offering all the things she'd ever dared dream of and more. All he wanted in return was for her to love him back. And how could she not? He was everything, every last little detail of everything she'd ever wanted.

She was such a fool for waiting so long for this. She'd put him through so much pain, him, the last person in world she'd ever dream of hurting. And he'd forgiven her so easily. Too bad as wasn't as ready to forgive herself.

"I'm so sorry, Rick." She heard herself saying and he shifted and tried to catch her eyes with his.

"About what?" he asked as if she hadn't done anything to wrong him.

"I'm sorry I waited so long. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I've been so impossible," she explained, still averting her gaze from his. She couldn't do that. She couldn't look at him knowing what he must be seeing when he looked back at her, a beaten, weak, helpless creature that fell apart at the drop of a hat.

"Look at me, Kate," he said finally to force the issue as his finger came up under her chin and he raised her head. When his eyes did finds hers, what she saw in them made her stomach flop. What had she ever done to deserve to be looked at the way he was looking at her? How could she ever live up to the adoration and devotion he so obviously felt for her? "The only thing that's important is that you're here now. That's all that matters. I love you. And nothing is ever going to change that."

She opened her mouth, ready to return the sentiment when her throat suddenly closed up on her. She swallowed hard and drew in a deep breath, hoping he wouldn't notice how much she was struggling with this. She didn't want him to think it was his fault. She didn't want to hurt him again by making him feel as if she didn't feel as much for him as he did for her.

It had nothing to do with him. She was about to say something she could never unsay, something she had never said with such certainty and clarity. There was no doubt in her. No question in her mind about how she felt about him. She'd never known that before. It was something completely foreign to her. Always before even when she said those words, her feelings were cloudy, unsure.

But that was until he came into her life.

She wet her lips and let the breath she was holding ease from her lungs. "I love you, too, Rick. I always have and I'm ready to do this. I'm ready to give us a chance."

If she were going to say anything else, it was lost in the feel of his lips crashing into hers with a force that would've knocked her backwards if it weren't for his arms holding her so tightly.

It was a state she'd often found herself in, teetering on the edge of something, so very afraid that any minute she would lose her grip.

But that was until he came into her life. Now she knew, without a shadow of a doubt that if she ever did fall, he'd be right there to catch her.


End file.
